Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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