dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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