I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
