We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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