Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
