8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
