Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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