I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
