But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
