I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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