I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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