I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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