just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
