I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
