I heard we made out
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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