Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize