Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
