Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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