ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
