Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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