I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
