therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
