Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I came so hard my ears popped.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
