We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
