You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
this hospital has no fireball
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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