there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
