I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
