Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
