i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
wow bdsm is so cute
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
