hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize