does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
