My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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