I think I won the penis lottery.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
