If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
