the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
