it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm sobbing to NWA
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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