..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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