The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
