I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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