i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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