Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize