yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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