how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
