Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
