Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
