Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
