I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize