An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
