Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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