i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
