I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize