So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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