Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
