I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
