I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Someone came in the potted fern
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
