How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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