Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
