I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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