question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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