elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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