Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I got inside last night via doggy door
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize