I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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